...but I'm Yours

Hi, all. Three months since an update via the blogosphere.

Ava is here, is lovely, is wonderful. Everyone is adjusting well including me, thanks to God and modern medicine, a night and day difference from postpartum life after Jack. Life is good.

Someone I love immensely is having her specific brand of faith challenged in a baiting, indirect-but-totally-loaded way, by someone she loves immensely. In pursuit of wisdom she asked a small number of confidants for their thoughts. For what its worth, my reply is what follows:

[ First, I'm proud of you, _______, for loving these friends…hating the sin, loving the sinner. We, in the name of Christianity, too often sanitize our lives from unbelievers and "sticky situations" because we think it's the way of a good Christian. It is perhaps the way of a good religious person, but it is nothing like Christ. I am the chiefest of culprits in living my life like this a lot of times. But our beliefs are more than a moral code of living, or a banner to take up, or a cause. At least they don't have to be just these things. What we believe in is not impotent, neither the person of Jesus nor the Word of God. There is a verse in Jeremiah 23, verse 29, that says, "Nothing else is like God's Decree (His Word). Isn't My Message like fire? Isn't it like a sledgehammer busting a rock?" We can rely on the Word of God and the three persons of the Trinity.

But these friends of ours, waiting to challenge Christianity at every turn, can't. At least not the way we can. It (the Bible) is living and active and sharper than a two-edged sword in our hands, but only through the Holy Spirit that leads us into all truth. Paul was talking to the Jewish leaders in Rome - smart men, well versed in the law and scriptures. They argued back and forth among themselves and Paul says to them, "The Holy Spirit was right when He said to your ancestors through Isaiah the prophet, 'Go and say this to the people: when you hear what I say, you will not understand. When you see what I do, you will not comprehend. For the hearts of these people are hardened, and their ears cannot hear, and they have closed their eyes – so their eyes cannot see, and their ears cannot hear, and their hearts cannot understand, and they cannot turn to Me and let Me heal them.'" Without the Holy Spirit as the revelator the Bible will be nothing but a great work of mythical and mystical literature or historical writings or antiquated rules. How painful that must be for the Holy Spirit, aching to reveal, but being denied His power.

We cannot be angry with "lost" people for doing what lost people do. But it's an intimidating thing to hear smart, highbrow, well-spoken arguments being made against what we believe, or at least are thought to believe being lumped together with all of Christendom around the globe, and feel like we come up short in the debate. But I don't think all of us are supposed to be engaged in every debate we are being invited into. As I sit here thinking and grappling and trying to hear what God is saying, all I discern is once again the need for Christians, for Christ-followers. . .for me. . .to preach only Christ and Him crucified.

Churches suck. They're always full of religious, fragile, fallible, arrogant, useless people. Through all of the centuries, in all kinds of ways, churches have gotten so many things so irrevocably wrong. There is not a single doubt about that fact. We have killed and pillaged and berated and boycotted in the name of Jesus, over issues that are in the hearts of man, but never in the heart of the Father. We have. Period. There is no mistaking that. We have seen in our own personal lives the way person turns against person in the name of faith. We have seen these things up close and in technicolor, leaving a wake of pain and anger and depression and posttraumatic stress to rival events seen only in wartime combat. Oh, how it hurts to think about these things even now, knowing what damage has been done in the hearts and psyches of people I love, we love.

But the church, the Church, is people. It will go on making epic mistakes and failures. However, it is Christ's bride, not Christ Himself. He never did any of the killing or pillaging or berating or boycotting. He loved. He gave compassion when all He felt was exhaustion. He told stories to strike at the heart of every kind of man so they could see the Kingdom of God. He stood in truth even as people of power would try to supplant Him. He was not an avoider of the derelicts of society or the ones who would not comply with church doctrine, heretics. He was the Friend of sinners. He valued relationship and community and leadership and "followership" so much so that He kept at least twelve people with Him always. . .except when He slipped away to be alone with His Father. He understood the heart of the Father, the God of the universe, trusted His heart. He only did what the Father would have Him do. He was a reconciler, not a rebel. He was a revolutionary, but came to fulfill law and not to do away with it. He lived a celibate life, but longs for a spotless bride. These lyrics keep repeating in my head:
Let he without sin cast the first stone, if you will,
to say that My bride isn't worth half the blood that I've spilled.
Point your finger and laugh if you choose,
to say My beloved is borrowed and used.
She is strong enough to stand in My love.
I can hear her say,
"I am weak, and I'm poor.
I am broken, Lord, but I'm Yours.
Hold me now."

Some things can't be argued with. We are weak. We are poor. We are broken. But we're His. We.Are.His. Our friends are right about a lot of things, indictments about the Church: her lazy attitude about suffering around the world; her vigilante stance on certain issues and complete blind eye to others; her racism and sexism all in the name of God. But God. . .Abba, Son, and Holy Spirit. . .They saw it all. And it, us, we, me, you, them, was still worth the risk. The risk was not the chance at Jesus being put to death. He knew that was why He came wrapped in skin. That was His "given". The risk was knowing we could and would each say, "Screw Him!", or "To hell with the church and religion!", or worse. But He still did it. He knew He would have to take a whore and make her blameless again.

Our friends are right in so many ways. But they are so, so wrong.

Christ. Him crucified. Revelation through the Holy Spirit.

God, help them see. Hear. Understand. Have their hearts healed. ]

I love you all,
Jessi

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